Skype.

I have recently been introduced to Skype, when an online dating service informed me that there are only about 3 other people in the universe that are a "compatible partner" for a Normal Lesbian Psychic.  As luck would have it, apparently those compatible partners do not exist within a 500  mile radius. Therefor, Skype seems to be the only logical way to have a "first date". I should point out though that I do feel pretty fortunate to be who I am, despite my misgivings. I could have been a lesbian with cat allergies. Talk about destined to be alone.. 

Here we go with Skype as the "first date". As mistake number one, I had failed to do a Skype test run, to get out the bugs, and the nuances. In hind sight this would have been smart. If hind sight is 20/20, mine seems to be about 14/20, even with clairvoyance on my side. Here are a list of things NOT to do when Skyping your first coffee date. 

1. It's easy to want to use Skype as a mirror. The lighting is better than the car.  However, that mirror has someone looking back at you as you pluck your chin hairs in front of an unassuming and first time, audience.

2. Silence is awkward enough without staring at someone. The internet has now compounded awkward silence with awkward visual stillness. Keep a list of questions nearby to avoid this in the future.

3. I now know what beauty pageant queens feel like as they put vaseline on their teeth to keep them smiling. With Skype's survailance, now I can no longer pick my nose on a call, close my eyes, talk from my bed (how awkward for a first interaction), eat, floss, and play with my belly button.

4. I know what it feels like to be the news caster who wears a suit on top and sweatpants on the bottom. 

5. You only know the top half of the person you are talking to. Dont make any jokes about people with wooden legs or webbed feet, until you can confirm.  

Comments

[Gabrielle]

Woe is the lonely lesbian with cat allergies... tee hee!